Thank you, Angela, for sharing your story with us!
Tell us about yourself!
I’m Angela, and I am a bestselling and award-nominated author. I’m a Christian, freelance editor, and artist, and I reside in Tennessee, USA. I’ve been struggling with multiple illnesses for years now, but was recently diagnosed with Lyme disease, Hashimoto’s, Alpha Gal, EDS, and more. I am currently in treatment for a few of these illnesses, and am blessed to be able to still work my freelance businesses, raise my pets, and live as full of a life as I can at 22 years old.
What has God taught you in your valley of chronic illness?
If I had to sum it up in one word… Joy.
As I mentioned, I am 22 years old. Most women my age have a booming social life, or are even married and growing their own family.
I’m not able to do either of those things at this season of life. I’m not able to drive great distances, or work a fulltime job, and so forth.
And after a childhood of caring for my chronically ill mom, I had really hoped for those things. After I got sick, it felt like every dream I had faded away, and life felt like some sick (pun unintended) joke.
I had fought so long… for what? And now, I’m fighting so hard… for what?
Well… for joy!
Peace, contentment, those are good things, too, but joy in the Lord is such a powerful, supernatural, beautiful thing — and it is not limited to dancing, or singing, or showing off, etc. Joy, genuine joy, can be quiet. Soft. It takes a fighter’s heart to choose joy, to hold onto it, and to make it their focus and reason for pushing onward!
God has taught me what genuine joy is. He has blessed me and reminded me that I can fight, bloodied and battered, to hold onto joy, and let my joy in the Lord be enough for me. When we have joy in all circumstances, when we have that deeply rooted love for the Lord in us at all times, then even the darkness is lit up by the light within ourselves… And the future, dark or bright, is then even brighter.
What Scriptures have spoken to you in your times of need?
I read a lot in Isaiah and Psalms when I’m feeling down. Psalm 73:26 says,
My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever.
I repeated this as I struggled with treatment recently. I think, so often, Christians are ashamed for not being strong enough or having doubts… Though, that is sort of the point, isn’t it? We do fail, and God doesn’t condemn us for that! Instead, God is our strength. He loves us, and carries us through the trials.
Here are some other verses that have helped me lately:
My flesh and my heart fail;
Psalm 73:26
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
For His anger is but for a moment,
Psalm 30:5
His favor is for life;
Weeping may endure for a night,
But joy comes in the morning.
“‘Fear not, for I am with you;
Isaiah 41:10
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’”
Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
John 14:27
What is the best part of your chronic illness?
I love this question. I’d like to answer it in a few ways.
- It has given me renewed understanding for others. I mentioned my mom has been chronically ill for most of my life. That gave me a unique understanding for the world and people around me. Now, as I am sick, I have a new understanding, and see the world and everyone differently. I try to let this new perspective help me minister to more people, as best as I can.
- It helps me focus on the kiddos around me. I have almost a dozen nieces and nephews, and they love to play with me and do things with me, and I even homeschool a few of them on my better days. I think sometimes that if I were healthy, and I had the social life I dreamed of right now, I would not be able to minister to the kids around me.
- It helps me write. I am an author, and being sick helps me write about things in a deeper way, I think. My books have helped people through spiritual oppression, away from suicidal thoughts, and more. I don’t think that I would be able to write the things God gives me to write if I were not sick in this season.
- Recently, when I wrote and shared about my illnesses, I was able to encourage quite a few people. It was scary for me to share about things… But I had prayed, and knew God wanted me to. So when I realized it had actually helped people…it was a good reminder that God can use our scary moments to do great things.
There are other ways my illnesses bless me, but I’ll leave it at this!
How would you encourage other women with chronic illness?
I would have to say, “This is not a punishment.”
I struggle with believing that I am not being punished sometimes. It’s a heavy place. It’s a hard place. And often, I hear, “If you have more faith, you’ll be saved.” Or, “This church delivers miraculous healing. You should go get healed.” And… Well, not everything works for everyone. Sometimes, God doesn’t allow healing. Sometimes, you can have the faith of a mustard seed, and God still does not call you to be healthy right now.
You are not being punished. You didn’t do anything wrong. God does love you. You are doing well, fighter.
So keep going. Keep listening to God’s loving voice alone.
If you ever need a friend, or prayer, or anything, I am always there for you!
What resources have helped you?
- Rich Mullins worship music. “My Deliverer” is especially an incredible support on bad days.
- Dr. Michelle Bengtson has short devotionals on her social media, but she also has devotional books. She’s a blessing. I read her socials almost daily. (She’s currency battling cancer, so please join us in prayer for her complete healing!)
- Journaling. I wanted to mention this, because while it can be painful to write by hand, and I could journal on Google Docs, I do think journaling my thoughts, doubts, and dark moments helps a lot. I also will journal a page of things I am grateful for on very hard days. It helps me, so if it might help another, I wanted to share it here!
Can you relate to Angela’s story? What part of her testimony most encouraged you? Any words you would like to leave for her in the comments?
Connect with Angela at www.angelarwatts.com or on Facebook, Instagram, or Substack.
The Valley 