I (Melissa) have referenced The Thinklings Podcast often on this blog, and the hosts have been gracious to let me share material from various podcast episodes with you. Last year, one of the hosts, Andy Stearns (a professor at Faith Baptist Bible College in Ankeny, Iowa), experienced the deep, hard valley of the loss of his wife, Robyn, to cancer.
While any of his blog posts written during and since this time are worth reading, his post–and related podcast episode–on Hebrews 11 addresses some key truths that I believe can specifically encourage us in chronic illness as well. With his permission, here is his blog post with additional material from Episode 173 of The Thinklings Podcast.
Originally published by Andy Stearns on January 24, 2021, on Thoughts Worth Thinking. Reposted with permission.
2023 was a terrible year for me and my family. One of the worst things that could happen, did. Yes, I recognize that every bad situation could be worse. I recognize that others have gone through even more terrible and grievous situations. And at the same time, for my family, 2023 really has been the worst thing to take place. But I say that while trusting God.
The Cloud of Witnesses to God’s Character
What do you anchor yourself, and your soul specifically, to as you walk through a trial?
I don’t think I’ve ever gone [to Hebrews 11] before when it comes to suffering or encouragement. But there’s actually a really good application and truth here that’s a theological anchor. If you’re going through suffering or life is hard or you have sorrow, this passage is actually really good for you.
Episode 173
Looking back, I see two anchors that helped my soul to keep trusting in God. The first is a theological anchor. What is true? Right now, as a widower, nothing has changed in my Bible. God’s character has not changed. He is not less good than He was. I say that now, and my late wife said it before she entered her inheritance. We knew that God is only and always good. We knew that He takes evil and sin and uses them for His plan to do good to those who love Him. We knew that we can’t always understand those details in the moment, and that we believe this by faith — trusting in His words to us.
One way I see this is in Hebrews 11, known to some as the “hall of faith.”
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the people of old received their commendation
And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.
Hebrews 11:1-2, ESV
What does it look like to have faith in God? I like the word “trust” the best when I think of faith; that helps me to understand it. If I’m having faith in God, I’m trusting Him.
Consider where in your life you have to trust God. . . .
Maybe life is hard right now and you’re just not sure–should you keep walking with the Lord?
Just like in James, any trial [can be something] that causes you to question your trust in God and grows your faith.
Episode 173
In this passage, we have no less than seventeen examples of people who trusted God but didn’t see the reward they were promised by Him. The names are the “big” names too. David, Abraham, Sarah, Moses, and Joseph all make the list. But some “lesser” names are in as well. Gideon, Barak, Sampson, and Jephthah all made the cut. Not to mention the “prophets” as a whole.
What is the point of God promising His people something, but then not delivering what He promised? Of course, they all have received the promise now that they have died and are with the Lord. But why offer something and then wait to deliver until after this life is over? I believe there could be many reasons for this, and I want to be clear that this is my thinking as I am processing right now. But it honestly seems that in all these cases God’s goodness is being declared.
Consider; each of the examples in Hebrews 11 had to believe in God’s goodness so much that they would trust Him until the very end. This lines up with Job’s example. Satan’s attack, in my opinion, had absolutely nothing to do with Job and everything to do with trying to show that God only receives worship if He blesses people.
What Satan really cares about is a character assassination of God.
Episode 173
Satan’s argument seems to be “Hey God, you aren’t really that good since you have to bribe people with health and wealth to get them to worship you.” When Job continued to worship, even after everything had been taken from him, Satan’s argument fell flat.
So I was thinking about this in the context of suffering, and it occurred to me that an anchor for your soul, as you walk a difficult path, is to look to these examples of faith, these people who trusted God when they did not yet receive the promise, and the only reason they could do that is because they truly believed God was good.
Episode 173
Scripture gives many reasons for suffering (James 1; 2 Cor. 1; 1 Peter 2-3; etc.), so I don’t want to claim this is the only explanation (also, see this link to a recent episode where we all discuss what I have learned from this trial). And in the moment you are watching your wife breathe her very last breath, this truth doesn’t take the tears away or make it any easier to sit there with her emptied earthly tent. But the cloud of witnesses who stood fast on the solid theology of God’s character, really are an anchor for your soul. Even if you don’t quite understand this in the moment.
The “Crowd” of Witnesses
The second anchor point for my soul has come from what I’m going to label the “crowd” of witnesses. We will say that the only difference between the “cloud” and the “crowd” is that the crowd are those who are alive today. They haven’t yet gone before to their eternal home with God, but they have walked a few more steps down the path. Each of us has a different group we come in contact with, so everyone’s crowd might be a bit different. Some are close friends, while others are friends we only have gained through our suffering.
It’s worth thinking about what your crowd is like. Who is your crowd?
The crowd are people who right now are walking consistently in the fear of the Lord, believing in the goodness of God, right in front of me so I can see it.
Episode 173
I know a friend and former student who walked a terribly difficult path of suffering. She came through it with trust in the Lord, only to face terrible suffering again when she lost her husband, only three days into their honeymoon. I have watched her in the last few years as she continued to walk with the Lord in spite of such sorrow. Today she is engaged to wonderful believer and continues to testify to God’s goodness. She hurt, she cried, and she sorrowed. But she still trusts and would testify that God is good.
One member of my crowd is a very well known blogger who lost his son tragically. He has written books and been open about his suffering and sorrow through his online ministry. Many of his posts edified me and my wife long before we also faced a path of sorrow. While having only met face to face once, he has encouraged me through his example of trusting God no matter what happens.
A close friend lost his son tragically and unexpectedly 2 years ago. He and his wife live with sorrow and grief. When Robyn died, he was at my house the next day. He didn’t call. He didn’t ask if he could come, he just came. He made the long trek to my house from another state and sat with me in my home and talked. In the past he and his wife had done similar things both times when Robyn had cancer. Driving no small distance to leave a bag of groceries and toys on our doorstep, just to be an encouragement.
One last example is in order. A fellow widower has blessed me before he knew me through his online ministry. His writings on being a dad of three girls have encouraged me as I try to master the ponytail hairstyle and try to figure out how to navigate the widower’s life with little kids. We’ve messaged a handful of times. We’ve never met. But his kindness and example of trust have been another little anchor point for my soul.
What can I say about those who have ministered sacrificially to me but have not walked this path? My entire church and the ministry I work for have sacrificed for my family time and time again. More than 68 meals and many offers to clean my house are just the tip of this gigantic iceberg of kindness that has been shown to my family. And yet, when I stop to think, I realize that almost everyone has felt the bitter taste of sorrow. Yes, for some it’s been very different than my path. But nonetheless, these also demonstrate their trust in the Lord by sacrificing for my family.
You want to make sure you’re looking at the right crowd. If you’re surrounding yourself with friends who don’t fear the Lord and aren’t walking with the Lord, when suffering comes, there’s going to be one response that’s going to be cultivated in your soul as you watch them and how they live. But having godly people all around you and looking to their example, it really is nourishing. And I really think the big issue here is when you see someone walking with the Lord in the midst of hardship. It’s an example of someone who believes God truly is good.
I’ve had those questions, like “God, why are you letting this happen?” But where does it land? I think that’s the big thing. And that’s where the book Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy [by Mark Vroegop] has a really cool pattern of lament where you don’t call sin good, and you talk about how bad it is, but where you land is really important.
Episode 173
Walk in the Fear of the Lord: You Don’t Know Who is Watching
I think the point here is that my “crowd” of believers did not set out to encourage me personally (for the most part). They were just believers walking faithfully with their God, no matter what trial the Lord stewarded to them. Sometimes we look at life and think “well, I really am not making much of a difference.” We don’t see results, conversions, changes, etc. that we want to see (and God desires). But remember that a life lived in the fear of the Lord will always be a life He can use. You may not see how, but that isn’t really our responsibility. Ours is to walk humbly and faithfully before our God.
So as you think through your goals for this new year, remember to prioritize your walk with the Lord. Of course, it will change your own life for the better! But remember, others are watching. Often you won’t even see who watches your life. They need a “cloud” of witnesses from their Bible, but they also need a “crowd” of witnesses from the very real lives they are living each day. Who knows. God might put you into their “crowd.”
The Valley 